FROM WESTERN AUSTRALIA Topic: AUSTRALIAN/BALKAN AFFAIRS
Sydney 1. Which One of You Is the Admiral?
Sydney 2. A Deadly Mistake
1. Which One of You Is the Admiral?
WESTERN AUSTRALIA, Nov. 5 - Our Sydney hosts were more than kind. In fact, they made us feel almost embarrassed.
When my wife and I disembarked at the Sydney airport from the Perth-Sydney flight on Oct. 29, having spent the four hours or so snoozing in the back row of the economy class, right next to the Boeing 767's toilets, we were met by a Sydney Serbian National Federation (SNF) delegation of some half a dozen people. And by a uniformed chauffeur holding a large sign with the name "Djurdjevic" professionally printed on it.
But our biggest surprise was awaiting us when we left the Sydney domestic terminal building. A huge white stretch limo was parked curbside, complete with a bar and enough leg room for a giraffe.
"Who's getting married at the airport?" I blurted out loud.
"That's for you," one of the hosts explained.
"For me? You're kidding."
They weren't. We drove on, my wife and I in the back seats, and Srecko Popovic, an SNF board member, taking the leather lounge sofa at least seven to eight feet long.
"Would you like a cognac?" he asked, pointing to the bar.
"No, thanks," my wife and I both replied almost in the same breath, looking at each other with incredulity. After all, it was just after noon. And we haven't had lunch, either.
"You really shouldn't have gone to all this trouble," I said.
"It's okay," Mr. Popovic replied. "The driver is a Sydney Serb who is in the limo business. We got a special rate. He had seen you on TV."
A mobile phone rang. ("Everybody" in Australia these days has mobile phones! Considering this continent's relatively small human population, wonder how long it will be before Telstra comes out with kangaroo or emu versions?).
"We're just going to park over there for a few minutes," we were informed, as the SNF president, Ilija Glisic, had just arrived at the airport and would like to greet us personally.
"You shouldn't have " I started saying to Mr. Glisic, once we met, pointing to the gleaming white limo.
"Oh, why not?" he quipped with a big broad smile.
It was a long ride to downtown Sydney - matching the size of the vehicle, I thought - probably the longest ride we've ever taken to reach the city from the airport. And it was all mostly due to a tremendous amount of construction going on in this city trying to get ready for the Olympics 2000.
But there are some good things about long rides. Having a chance to talk is one of them.
Our driver, Vladimir Kovak, was an open book, once he started talking. We learned that his family's homestead was within a stone throw away from the Pec Patriarchate in Kosovo (the ancient seat of the Serbian Orthodox Church). But that his family had all "emigrated" from Kosovo to Paracin, a town in central Serbia, a long time before the more recent troubles began. And that his brother was a volunteer who went to fight with the Serb Army in Kosovo. He returned alive, but with five bullet wounds.
Amid a myriad of short stories about the VIPs he had driven, which Mr. Kovak (originally Kovacevic) shared with us during our long ride, the "admiral story" stood out.
"I have a contract with the (Sydney) Intercontinental Hotel, and so one day, I was supposed to drive two American couples," he said. "I was told that one of the men was an admiral in the U.S. Navy."
Not lacking any gumption, the limo driver turned around and informed his foursome VIP entourage that he was a Serb. "Which one of you is the admiral?" he proceeded to interrogate them.
One of the VIP ladies, evidently fearful about the motives of a Serb in Sydney replied: "And why do you want to know?"
"Because I want to tell him that he missed! NATO bombed the wooden clapboard dummies of the Serb tanks and airplanes. And civilians." (see "How Serb 'Dummies' Fooled NATO Dummies" - S99-114, "Peacefarce" 8, Item 1, June 24).
We all laughed. As we suspect the American naval VIP entourage did.
"In the end, I got a $1,000-tip out of that trip," Mr. Kovak said.
"A $1,000-tip from a civil servant of the United States government?" I repeated. "Guess some government work does pay well. Maybe we should all get into the business of shooting the wooden Serb clapboard dummies?" J
Afterward, I felt sorry this evidently entrepreneurial Serb didn't get to drive some real NATO dummies. Such as Gen. Wesley Kanne Clark. Or Madam Halfbright. Gosh he might have retired on their tips. Better luck next time.
WESTERN AUSTRALIA, Nov. 5 - Now, everybody knows that lawyers and politicians are the butt of many jokes, especially the lawyers. Here are some of them, for example, I shared with the Australian business audiences during my lectures in Sydney, Canberra and Perth in September 1985:
Theodore Roosevelt once said that, "it is difficult to IMPROVE our material condition by the GOOD laws, but it is easy enough to make WORSE by the BAD laws.
That's why, whenever I think of lawyers, I remember the attorney who finished his summation before a jury with the following words:
"And those, ladies and gentlemen, are the CONCLUSIONS upon which I based my FACTS."
Kind of the way CNN and other globalist media arrange their "facts," too.
As for the immigration lawyers, they are a special breed...
Once upon a time, an immigration lawyer, a Hindu and a (Jewish) rabbi traveled together. It was getting late and they needed a place to sleep. They came to a farmhouse, and asked if they could stay overnight.
The farmer said, "Okay, but I've got room for only two of you in the house. The third one will have to sleep in the barn." The Hindu volunteered, so the immigration lawyer and the rabbi settled down in the guest bedroom.
A short time later, there was a knock on the door. I was the Hindu. "I don't mind sleeping in the barn," he said, "but there is a cow there. It is against my religious principles to sleep under the same roof with a cow."
The rabbi agreed to take his place in the barn. Just as the immigration lawyer and the Hindu were about to turn off the lights, they heard another knock on the door.
It was the rabbi. "Sorry," he said, "but I cannot stay in the barn, either. There is a pig in there. It is against my religious principles to sleep near a pig."
"Okay," said the immigration lawyer. "You two sleep here. I shall sleep in the barn." And off he went.
A few minutes later, the Hindu and the rabbi heard another knock on the door. It was the pig and the cow.
And now, here's an entirely different perspective on incompetent or corrupt lawyers which the TiM editor gleaned during his latest trip to Sydney.
The two key protagonists of this stories are sisters. Let's call them Bina and Lina. Bina is tall and dark. Lina is normal height (for a woman) and blonde. Both arrived with their parents from Serbia in the early 1970s, during the "White Australia" immigration rules.
"Guess we looked the part," Bina said, "though we could not speak English."
Bina, who now speaks with a "perfect" Australian accent, said they were PAID by the Canberra government to immigrate to this land Down Under. "All we needed to do was promise to stay there for at least two years."
Upon arrival, they were put up at a Sydney hostel. "We weren't supposed to go to that one," Bina explained. "Guess it was too fancy for us, Eastern Europeans. It was meant for the British immigrants. But we ended up there because of Lina."
"Because of Lina?"
"Yes. Lina was 18 back then. And upon arrival from Serbia, the Australian immigration officials said they had no papers for her.
"They had no papers for her?"
"It's a long story," Lina butted in at this point of the conversation. "I was a baby girl among the three children in our family. Upon leaving Serbia, we were all put up at this immigrant camp in Vienna (Austria). But our lawyer back in Serbia messed up."
"Your lawyer messed up? How?"
"I don't know exactly. All I know is that he got killed. Probably before he got a chance to process my paperwork."
"He got killed? How? Why?"
"Apparently, one of his clients wanted to go to the U.S. But the lawyer messed up and had him processed for a French Foreign Legion soldier."
"So what happened?"
"The man killed him. And left the lawyer slumped in his chair, with his TV on. It took a long time before someone discovered his decomposing body."
"And then, what happened?"
"Nothing. The lawyer's client had gone on to join the Foreign Legion."
Also, check out... Truth in Media Statement on the Kosovo War, "Wither Dayton, Sprout New War?", "On the Brink of Madness", "Tragic Deja Vu's," "Seven U.S. Senators Suggest Ouster of Milosevic", "Biting the Hand That Feeds You", "A Balkan Affairs Potpourri", "Put the U.N. Justice on Trial", "International Justice 'Progresses' from Kidnapping to Murder", "Milosevic: 'A Riddle Wrapped in a Mystery'...", "Kosovo Lie Allowed to Stand", "New World Order's Inquisition in Bosnia", "Kosovo Heating Up", "Decani Monastery Under Siege?", "Murder on Wall Street", "Kosovo: 'Bosnia II', Serbia's Aztlan", "What If the Shoe Were on the Other Foot?", "Serb WW II General Exhonerated by British Archives," "Green Interstate - Not Worth American Lives", "An American Hero or Actor of the Year?" (A June '95 TiM story) and/or "Clinton arme secrètement les musulmans bosniaques", "Kocevje: Tito's Greatest Crime?", "Perfidious Albion Strikes Again, Aided by Uncle Sam", "Lift the Sanctions, Now!" (1993)
Or Djurdjevic's WASHINGTON TIMES columns: "Chinese Dragon Wagging Macedonian Tail," "An Ugly Double Standard in Kosovo Conflict?", "NATO's Bullyboys", "Kosovo: Why Are We Involved?", and "Ginning Up Another Crisis"