Truth in Media Global Watch Bulletins

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TiM GW Bulletin 2000/6-9

June 23, 2000

Yugoslavia Banned from the UN Security Council Balkans Debate

"Fire, Aim, Ready!"

Yugoslav Soccer Still Not Silenced; Empty Promises to Hollow Serb Opposition; Watch Out for HIV-infected Needles When Filling Up; For Your Smile...

FROM PHOENIX, ARIZONABALKAN AFFAIRS


HEADLINES

New York                   1. “Fire, Aim, Ready!” - Yugoslavia Banned from the UN

                                           Security Council Balkans Debate

Podgorica                   1.1 UN Security Council Said to Back Montenegro's Separatism as Yugoslav Army Stages ExercisesJune 24, 2000

Rotterdam                  2. Yugoslav Soccer Still Not Silenced

                                    2.1 Terrorist Threat against Yugoslav Soccer TeamJune 24, 2000

Phoenix                       3. Macedonia: The Next Crisis on the "Green Interstate?"June 24, 2000

Belgrade                     4. Empty EU Promises to Hollow Serb Opposition -

                                        Sign of Shallow Western Policies

Phoenix                       5. For Your Smile…

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1. “Fire, Aim, Ready!”

Yugoslavia Banned from the UN Security Council Balkans Debate

NEW YORK, June 23 - Suppose Mexico were to occupy Aztlan (the American Southwest) using the United Nations “peacekeepers” as a fig leaf for an act of blatant aggression on American’s sovereignty.  Suppose Mexico’s ambassador to the UN is one Ricardo Holybruka[1], also known as the “Aztlan Bully,” because of his prior successes in whipping Washington’s Madam Halfbright into acceding to Mexico’s territorial demands. 

Now, suppose there is a debate going on at the UN Security Council about its “Aztlan mission” one year after the “blue helmets” took over from the United States government Southern California, Arizona, New Mexico, and much of Texas.  Here’s a Reuters report about it:

UNITED NATIONS (Reuters), June 23 - The Security Council took the unusual step of excluding Washington’s U.N. envoy from a debate on the Aztlan on Friday, prompting Great Britain's ambassador to walk out of the council chamber.

Mexico’s ambassador Ricardo Holybruka led the challenge on grounds that the American leadership, including President Bill Clinton, was accused for war crimes committed during last year's Aztlan crisis.

"It would be inappropriate to allow the representative of this government to use this council in a discussion of where we stand on Aztlan," Holybruka said.

The vote was four in favor, seven against and four abstentions in the 15-member council on a motion to allow the American to speak. Under Security Council rules, procedural matters take a majority vote, with permanent members, such as Russia, the United States, Britain, China and France, unable to use their veto power.

British ambassador Sir Sirano Redcoat left his seat and walked out of the council session shortly after the vote was taken. 

"America has a right to participate. It is a country whose interests are directly affected by this question," Redcoat told the council.

"To discuss the Aztlan problem without America is nonsense," he said, adding that the court which charged Clinton and others was being used as a political instrument. "Even a defendant has a right to defend his or her position."

The council also heard speeches by Carl Bildt, the former Swedish prime minister who serves as a U.N. envoy for the Aztlan, and by Javier Solana, the former head of NATO, and now the secretary-general of a North American Federation council on a common foreign policy for the U.S., Canada and Mexico.”

 

[1] Ricardo “Holybruka,” a.k.a. Richard Holbrooke, in Serbian means Richard the “Holy-shame.”

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TiM Ed.: Unbelievable?  Yes.  Preposterous?  Yes.  An assault on America’s sovereignty and territorial integrity?  Yes. 

Yet it is what happened today - June 23, 2000 - at the UN Security Council.  We’ve just transposed the names of some countries, regions and people in the actual June 23 Reuters story about today’s move by the U.S. ambassador to the UN, Richard Holbrooke, to prevent the Yugoslav ambassador to the UN, Vladislav Jovanovic, from addressing the Security Council on the Balkans topic.

Which prompted Russia’s ambassador, Sergei Lavrov, to walk out in protest and make the comments attributed to “Sir Sirano Redcoat” in the above mock Reuters story.

Like the United States, Yugoslavia is a founding member of the United Nations.  Like the America’s Southwest, Kosovo is Yugoslavia’s sovereign territory.  Like Washington’s interference in internal affairs of a foreign country, followed by an act of aggression and a military conquest of Kosovo, Mexico’s current political activism may lead to a secessionist civil strife that will be billed as a “liberation war.” 

Like Kosovo’s “liberation” on behalf of Albanians, such a conquest of Aztlan would mean “liberating” America of her southwestern states on behalf of Mexicans. 

In short, as this writer said in a recent speech, “welcome to Aztlan - America’s Kosovo!”

As to the actual Security Council vote on today’s motion to allow Yugoslavia’s envoy to speak, voting in favor were Russia, China, Ukraine and Namibia; those against were the United States, Britain, France, the Netherlands, Bangladesh, Malaysia and Canada; abstaining were Mali, Tunisia, Argentina and Jamaica. 

(Note the alignment of five NATO countries with the two Asian predominantly Muslim nations).

Furthermore, the U.S. maneuvered a representative of Montenegro, a constituent republic of Yugoslavia whose leadership is loyal to Washington, to be able to address the Security Council.  That would be like having New Mexico’s Hispanic separatists speaking for the United States.

And as you’ve already seen earlier this month, the Serb Bishop Artemije, a man who holds no political office, nor has any legal authority to speak on anyone’s behalf but his own, was also able to address the UN Security Council.  Artemije’s qualifications?  Just as Montenegro speaker’s - subservience to Washington.

What does it all mean?  First, a diplomatic charade designed to isolate and eventually expel Yugoslavia from the UN.  Second, international rule of law being replaced by the law of might is right.  Third, death of the United Nations as a relatively impartial global security valve.  Fourth, a preamble to the kind of a world powers contest that has already caused two world wars in the 20th century.

Now, for those Americans who saw the United Nations as a wasteful, U.S. taxpayer-subsidized threat to America’s sovereignty, a death of such an organization will probably seem like no great loss.  Except if the alternative is World War III. 

Can the United Nations prevent that?  No.  Not this kind of a UN which serves as an increasingly transparent fig leaf for the global hegemonic aspirations of the Washington stooges of the New World Order.  So a prerequisite for averting another world war is a return to a new multipolar global geopolitical system - with or without the United Nations. 

Meanwhile, what might the Yugoslav ambassador have said had he been allowed to address the Security Council? 

Well, he might have reminded the Council members that the Washington-led KFOR/UNMIK in Kosovo have breached all provisions of their Resolution 1244 from June 1999 which allowed NATO and UN troops to enter this Serbian province.

The ambassador might have also pointed out that more than 300,000 Serbs and other minorities have been driven from their ancestral homes in Kosovo, and over 1,200 of them killed during KFOR’s “peace farce” in the last 12 months.

Since the topic of today’s debate was the Balkans, and not just Kosovo, the Yugoslav ambassador might have also reminded the esteemed members of the Council that many of the Dayton Agreement provisions were also arbitrarily violated or unilaterally rewritten by the NATO/UN occupation forces in the Bosnian Serb Republic; that the kind of “nation building” and “democracy” that the “international community” has taught the Bosnian Serbs included banning the greatest Serb poet of all times (Njegos), as well as eliminating a Yugoslav literature Nobel laureate and many Serb folk songs from the schools’ curriculum.

The ambassador might have talked not only about the war crimes that NATO had committed during its illegal aggression on Serbia, but also about the devastating effect on the Serb population, of the genocidal UN sanctions, now in their ninth year.  And about the harmful effects on the economies of other Balkan nations which have also suffered as a result of the UN sanctions.

Finally, the ambassador might have pointed out that trying to construct a Balkans peace and security by oppressing and destroying the largest Balkan nation is like trying to build a European unity and security on the basis of oppressing and destroying Germany, for example.  Isolating the largest European country and throwing it out of the EU, UN, OSCE, IMF, WTO... would be a madman’s plan for “peace” that surely can only lead to more wars.  Yet, that’s exactly what Washington and its allies are doing in the Balkans.

Is that what Ricardo the Holy-Shame and Madam Halfbright were afraid the world might hear today?  Is that why they muzzled the Yugoslav ambassador? 

Well, they succeeded today, thanks to a disgraceful complicity of Britain, France, Canada, the Netherlands, Malaysia and Bangladesh in Washington’s assault on international law, the truth and the free speech.  But what will the Secretary of Hate do tomorrow, if other nations start to follow Russia out of the United Nations, and start to vote with their feet against the one country’s rule of the world? 

We get it… Go back to the basics; apply the three tenets of Madeleine Albright’s foreign policy: “Fire, aim, ready!”

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UPDATE - LATE NEWS: As if having heard our above comments, we’ve just received word that China's envoy to the UN also exited the Security Council room a few minutes after the Russian ambassador, during a speech by Javier Solana, the European Union's foreign policy chief.  Shen Guofang, however, had participated in the debate on the Balkans, whereas no Russian diplomat spoke after the controversy over Yugoslavia's attendance, the Reuters wire reported.  

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1.1 UN Security Council Said to Back Montenegro's Separatism as Yugoslav Army Stages ExercisesJune 24, 2000

PODGORICA, June 24 - UN Security Council member states support Montenegro's attempts to distance itself from Serbia, its federal partner in Yugoslavia, Foreign Minister Branko Lukovac told the Montenegrin daily Vijesti, the Agence France Presse reported June 24.

Speaking from New York, Lukovac that Montenegro's "presence in the UN and the Security Council was strongly accepted and hailed by participating states.

"Serbia does not have the right to represent Montenegro, its interests and policy. Only Montenegro itself can do it," he said, adding that he expected the international community to help his tiny republic in its "efforts to represent our interests and our policy on our own".

During a Security Council debate on the Federal Republic of Yugoslavia on Friday, the UN special envoy for the Balkans, Carl Bildt, backed Montenegro, saying that "the present structures of this present Yugoslavia are unsustainable".

Montenegro and Serbia are "on a slow but steady course towards collision," Bildt said, and it was important "that we all give support to the elected authorities in Montenegro in their efforts to pave the way for the new deal they seek".

In the letter distributed Friday, Montenegro also rejected Belgrade's claim to represent it diplomatically, and called on the international community to support opposition movements in Serbia, warning of the "dangerous possibility of a new crisis breaking out". Lukovac attended the session but was not invited to speak.

Meanwhile, Yugoslavia's army showed its muscle to the pro-independence Montenegrin leadership also on Friday, staging a massive military exercise in Montenegro along the country's volatile border with Albania, the Associated Press reported form Podgorica on June 23.

The 2nd Army's exercise - code-named Operation Granite 2000 - involved land forces, rapid reaction troops and air power. It was the first operation of its kind since last year's 79-day NATO bombing, which forced Yugoslav President Slobodan Milosevic to accept a peace deal for the province of Kosovo.

The point of the exercise was to practice ''how to counter an assault of an enemy's airborne units and terrorist groups,'' said 2nd Army spokesman Col. Stanimir Dasic. Military attaches from Austria, Greece, Italy, Hungary and a number of other countries were able to observe the maneuvers.

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2. Yugoslav Soccer Still Not Silenced

ROTTERDAM, June 23 - Washington may have managed to gag the Yugoslav diplomats in New York, but the Yugoslav soccer team will still be able to make a statement of its own this weekend at the Euro 2000 tournament in the Netherlands. 

As fate would have it, the Serbs are due to play the favorite Dutch team on their home turf in Rotterdam in a Sunday quarterfinal.  But Yugoslav’s road to the playoffs has not been without obstacles thrown their way by international officiating and fines, in addition to their own play. 

As a result, Yugoslavia finished shorthanded in all three matches it has played so far.  Sinisa Mihajlovic was ejected against Slovenia, Mateja Kezman against Norway, and Slavisa Jokanovic against Spain. Kezman and Jokanovic will not be allowed to play against Holland.

The Serbs also had four players yellow-carded (“yellow card” means a caution warning in soccer) against Norway, which earned them a 2,400 fine.  Apart from Jokanovic, they also had four more players cautioned against Spain.

In total, Yugoslavia has been fined 48,500 ($74,000) by the UEFA (a European soccer organization) - by far the highest fines levied against any competitor in the Euro 2000 tournament.  Romania was fined 2,800 ($4,300) after five players were cautioned in their final group game against England.  The Germans were fined 1,600 ($2,400) after four players were cautioned in the 3-0 loss to Portugal.

"The same sort of offenses are not punished in the same way when our opponents are concerned,” the Yugoslav coach, Vujadin Boskov, told the BBC News after the game with Spain which was refereed by a French official.  "If we get this kind of refereeing in our match against the Netherlands, I'm afraid of a negative result for us," he added.  

Still, even if the UEFA sends the Hague kangaroo court judges to officiate Yugoslavia’s match with Holland, the Serb athletes will be facing better odds than any other political, military or diplomatic representatives of the nation have in the last eight years of the UN sanctions against the country. 

If these sports professionals don’t take the unique opportunity tomorrow to show Europe and the soccer world that the Serbs fight the best when the chips are down, they will have only themselves to blame. 

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2.1 Terrorist Threat against Yugoslav Soccer TeamJune 24, 2000

TiM Ed.: On Friday evening, the Yugoslav team's practice at the St. Katalen's stadium was interrupted by a terrorist threat against them at about 8:45PM.  The Belgian police escorted the players from the field to their "Ter Elst" hotel in Edegem (near Antwerp).  All streets within several hundred yards around the hotel were closed.  

After a thorough search of the area, the Belgian police found a vehicle with German license containing several Kalashnikov assault weapons in it, according to the Belgrade media.  Two masked individuals managed to flee at first, but were later reportedly arrested.  Beocity.com journalists reported from Belgium that the apprehended suspects were Croatian nationals, and that the weapons seized on them had only rubber bullets.

And you thought the Superbowl was exciting?  And just think, this is only the quarterfinals of the Euro 2000.

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3. Macedonia: The Next Crisis on the "Green Interstate?" June 24, 2000

PHOENIX, June 24 - We received today a report from Amnesty International in which this non-governmental organization protests the alleged Macedonian police brutality.  Amnesty says "Killing of police (is) no justification for human rights violations."  

Yet isn't killing of three Macedonian policeman a "human rights violation" of the worst kind? Nor does Amnesty clearly identify that the murderers were ethnic Albanians, just as in the earlier cases when Serb policemen were being murdered by the Kosovo Albanian terrorists.  But we'll let you read the Amnesty report first, before continuing with our comments... 

* News Release Issued by the International Secretariat of Amnesty International *

Amnesty International public document - AI Index EUR 65/005/2000 - News Service Nr. 119

22 June 2000

Macedonia

Killing of police no justification for human rights violations 

The Macedonian government should investigate serious human rights violations which occurred in Aracinovo earlier this year and ensure that they are never repeated, Amnesty International said today releasing its report, "After the Aracinovo murders Torture, ill-treatment and possible extrajudicial execution".

Dozens of people -- all of them ethnic Albanians -- from Aracinovo village and Skopje town were tortured, beaten or otherwise ill-treated following the murder of three police officers at the village on January 11. Many men were held incommunicado for up to 11 days and there were strong indications that Sabri Asani, who died in custody, may have been extrajudicially executed.

"The murder of the police officers was a very serious crime, but no crime, however heinous, justifies human rights violations such as these," Amnesty International said. "The courts are the only place where guilt should be determined and punishments enacted. A vigorous police reaction to find the killers may have been justified, but all police actions must be in accordance with the law and international human rights standards," the organization added.

Police searches of the houses of ethnic Albanians in Aracinovo were characterized by the use of excessive force. On 14 January men and boys were beaten in several houses. One man had his jaw broken, reportedly with a police rifle butt. Six men and two 15-year-old boys were made to lie face down outside another house and were kicked and beaten as they lay. A 70-year-old man was allowed to sit up, but the others were reportedly kept on the ground for up to three hours. The ill-treatment was allegedly accompanied by references to their Albanian ethnicity. Old men, women and children were allegedly guarded at gunpoint by police for three hours in another house.

At least eight men were taken to police stations that day with hoods over their heads. They were held until late at night and subjected to further beatings and questioning about the murder of the police officers.

Detainees arrested on other days were reportedly kept incommunicado, tortured or ill-treated and denied basic rights such as access to a defence lawyer of their choice. At least eight remain in custody and are under investigation, and some of them reportedly started a hunger-strike last week. At least one is known to have withdrawn a statement he alleges was extracted under torture.

"While the authorities have acknowledged that there have been some violations, their response on the whole has been totally inadequate,"Amnesty International said, calling for a full, impartial and independent investigation into the human rights violations following the Aracinovo incident.

In the case of Sabri Asani's death, five months on, his family have yet to receive a copy of the autopsy report on his body, despite repeated requests. Amnesty International is calling for the pathologist's report to be urgently released, for thorough investigations to be carried out into the circumstances of his death and for those responsible to be brought to justice.

A video tape of Sabri Asani's body shows what appears to be the entry wound of a bullet in his left temple. An experienced pathologist who viewed the tape for Amnesty International noted that marks around the entry wound suggested that the bullet had been fired at very close range. The body otherwise showed evidence of having been badly beaten.

"The incident demonstrates an urgent need to review policing methods and improve police training," Amnesty International said. The Ministry of the Interior publicly apologized for some of the arrests on 14 January, who were said to have been carried out "by mistake", and promised an investigation. The victims have heard nothing from the authorities except for the payment of some financial compensation for damage to their houses during the searches.

A report issued in February by the national human rights Ombudsman found that serious human rights violations had occurred and called for thorough investigations, including criminal charges against the police officers responsible. The report has remained unheeded by the Interior Ministry despite a reminder issued by the Ombudsman in May.

Background

According to official figures in Macedonia 67 per cent of the population are Macedonians and 23 per cent is made up of ethnic Albanians. However, ethnic Albanian leaders claim that the ethnic Albanian population is larger. Since independence, the issue of the status and rights of the ethnic Albanian population has been one of the key political issues in the republic. 

In the context of political confrontations in past years between ethnic Albanians and the government, ethnic Albanian demonstrators -- some of whom became violent -- have been subject to human rights abuses. There are also reports of incidents of ill-treatment by police involving Macedonians and Roma as well as ethnic Albanians.

The murders of the police officers in Aracinovo were not ostensibly political. However, the fact that the murdered officers were two Macedonians and an ethnic Turk killed in a village with a large Albanian majority and that the police reaction focused on ethnic Albanian suspects gave them strong political connotations.

Some evidence indicates that over the past two years -- a period including a change of government at the end of 1998 -- there have been efforts by the police to improve standards and reduce the incidence of ill-treatment. Whatever progress has been made, the findings in Amnesty International's new report highlight that serious problems remain.

ENDS.../

Amnesty International, International Secretariat, 1 Easton Street, WC1X 8DJ, London, United Kingdom

****************************************************************

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TiM Ed.: Sounds like Kosovo all over again... And Bosnia before that. Macedonia is evidently the next stage of the "Green Interstate" (see http://www.truthinmedia.org/Bulletins/tim95-11.html  ). Just as Kosovo was as predictable as night and day to be the next "Balkans crisis" after the Bosnian war ended in 1995 (see http://www.truthinmedia.org/Bulletins/tim98-3-1.html ). No surprises there.

The crux of the New World Order's (NWO) long term geopolitical plan for the Balkans is creation of a "Greater Albania," a de facto Muslim state which will be linked to the Muslim Bosnia. At the expense of the current and former Christian lands and people in the Balkans, of course. Just take a look at the maps in the above TiM stories. No surprises there, either. The NWO at its essence is anti-Christian first and foremost (see http://www.truthinmedia.org/Bulletins/tim97-8-3.HTML ).

But one cannot help but wonder why these "humanitarian" NGOs (Non-Governmental Organizations), like Amnesty, Human Rights Watch, or Doctors Without Borders, for example, always seem to condemn the REACTION by local authorities more than the original crimes that provoked the trouble in the first place? They did it in Bosnia. They did it in Kosovo. They did it in Chechnya. In each case, they made the terrorists appear as the victims. They only condemned those who fired back, never the original shooters.

They never protested the murders of 6,000 Sarajevo Serbs, for example, who were slaughtered like the lambs, in silence (see - http://www.truthinmedia.org/Bulletins/tim98-11-7.HTML ). All the while these NGOs and their New World Order government and media accomplices in crime cover-ups mourned the "designated NWO victims" - the Sarajevo Muslims who committed all these "silent" crimes unfettered, unchallenged, and still (!) unpunished.

Nor did these "humanitarians" protest the gruesome murders of several hundred Moscow residents by the bombs planted by the Chechen terrorists (see http://www.truthinmedia.org/Bulletins99/tim99-9-4.html ). Some of them (Doctors Without Borders) even had the audacity to expel the real humanitarians - the Greek doctors - from their ranks (see "Greek Doctors Expelled from "Medecins Sans Frontieres" Over Help for Serbia" - http://www.truthinmedia.org/Kosovo/Peace/ps49.html , and "They Are Not Doctors!" - http://www.truthinmedia.org/Bulletins2000/tim2000-1-4.html ). Why? Because the Greeks were helping the "wrong" kind of humans, according to these NWO racists - the Serb civilians in Kosovo.

As we can see, the NGO's racism and pursuit of the NWO's political agendas now continues under the humanitarian cloaks in Macedonia, too. Are the lives of the three murdered Macedonian policemen somehow cheaper than those of the Albanian perpetrators? If not, why did Amnesty wait till now (the policemen were murdered on January 11, as you can see below from its own release) to protest such human rights violations? Is there any greater "human rights violation" than murder of law enforcement officials in the line of duty?

Guess there is, according to Amnesty. Amnesty is rightfully protesting when some Albanian suspects were held incommunicado for 11 days by the Macedonian police. But did Amnesty protest when several hundred Serb suspects are being held for over a year in KFOR's Kosovo prisons without being formally charged? (see http://www.truthinmedia.org/Bulletins2000/tim2000-6-8.html ). And who is in charge of such travesties? One of "their own." Bernard Kouchner, the former head of a now infamous NGO - Doctors Without Borders - which received the Nobel Peace Prize for 1999.

In short, Amnesty "doth protest too much," if we may borrow from Shakespeare. And also not enough. It all depends on who the victims and the executioners are. And what the NWO political landscape looks like. Just as in the case of the Hague kangaroo war crimes court. No surprises, there, either.

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4. Empty EU Promises to Hollow Serb Opposition Leaders - Sign of Shallow Western Policies

BELGRADE, June 23 - Media Center is a Belgrade-based organization that provides on-line news and analysis of the situation in Serbia both in English and in Serbian.  They sent us today a column by Prof. Vladimir Cvetkovic about a lofty promise by the European Union to Zoran Djindjic, one of the Serb opposition leaders who has distinguished himself as a western vassal since the end of the NATO bombing a year ago:

“It would be better if the international community tried to allay fears of further fragmentation of the country and talked about concrete projects, instead of offering abstract monies that probably will not arrive in the promised sum, or will vanish into one of the many black pits, says Professor Vladimir Cvetkovic analyzing President of European Commission Romano Prodi's promise to Zoran Djindjic of five billion DEM ($2.5 billion) aid to the Serbian people after Milosevic leaves office

Promising Serbia fairly large sums of money in the post-Milosevic period has greater importance for the makers of such offers than for us. The West has to try to give legitimacy to its involvement in this region, but these promises do not touch the real causes of the crises and therefore do not mean much to Serbia.

From the domestic point of view, it would be better if the international community tried to allay fears of the break-up of the country, of the further fragmentation of Serbia. For the post-Milosevic period, plans of concrete projects would be more important than promises of abstract monies.

Therefore, from the viewpoint of the international community that supports changes in Serbia as well as from our standpoint it would be more useful to talk of employment projects, for instance.

It is easy to assume that the above money will not arrive in the promised sums, or that it will vanish into one of many black pits as was the case in Bosnia and Herzegovina. Let us remember how much money was promised to Kosovo, and we know what happened after. The populace certainly reaped no benefits form the money that did arrive.

I think the West is trying to make universal its own view of the world where money is the absolute and only value, attempting to transport it to every other geographic and political sphere, regardless of differences. Besides, there is an obvious incapability of grasping another, real, sequence of moves.

It is easiest to promise money. Obviously, there is no global projection on what will happen after Milosevic. For the last ten years we have witnessed only ad-hoc policy-making, lacking any clear system although supporters of the conspiracy theory would probably reach different conclusions.

This is a combination of uniformity, hypocrisy, ordinary stupidity and the all-important need to satisfy momentary political interests, consisting at the present time in calming the situation in Kosovo as much as possible and showing Milosevic he cannot reach Montenegro. Plans are made for five to ten weeks ahead, and everything else is in the domain of pure fantasy.”

The Author, Vladimir Cvetkovic, is a professor of the Belgrade University

Courtesy of the Media Center, Belgrade, Serbia, e-mail: mc.mail@mediacenter.org.yu, http://www.mediacenter.org.yu  

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5. For Your Smile…

PHOENIX, June 21 - We got the enclosed post from Neil Baird, a TiM reader in Australia. The TiM editor liked some jokes so much that he decided to try to embellish them... (his comments are in blue).  Enjoy!

Humour: Novel T-Shirt Designs / Comments

God Made Us Sisters; Prozac Made Us Friends

My Mother Is a Travel Agent for Guilt Trips

Senior Citizen: Give Me My Damn Discount

(Spotted on a passing motorcycle): If You Can Read This, My wife Fell Off

I Used to Be Schizophrenic, but We're OK Now

Veni, Vedi, Visa: I Came, I Saw, I Did a Little Shopping

 I Came, I Saw, I Shopped till I Dropped

 What If the Hokey Pokey Is Really What It's All About?

Then Hanky-Panky would be jealous... (not to mention Lou Gerstner or Bill Gates)

Coffee, Chocolate, Men; Some Things Are Just Better Rich

Rich man in love: "For better or for poorer..."

Liberal Arts Major..Will Think for Food

"Liberal" Poli-Sci Major: Will Kill for Fun

Don't Treat Me Any Differently Than You Would the Queen

The Queen Bea? (of the Royal Dutch Shell) Then Get Ready for a Royal Petrol Price Hike

If You Want Breakfast in Bed, Sleep in the Kitchen

First National Bank of Dad; Sorry, Closed

Except on Mothers Day.  Someone's Got to Pay for the "Million Moms' March."

In Dog Years, I'm Dead

Love May Be Blind, But Marriage Is a Real Eye Opener

If at First You Don't Succeed, Skydiving Isn't for You

The Trouble With the Gene Pool Is That There's No Lifeguard

Get a New Car for Your Spouse. It'll Be a Great Trade

Even Better: Get a New Dog House for Your Spouse.  It'll Even Rhyme...

I'm Going to Graduate on Time, No Matter How Long It Takes

Anything Not Worth Doing Is Not Worth Doing Well

A Day Without Sunshine is Like Night

First Things First, but Not Necessarily in That Order

Old Age Comes at a Bad Time

Except If It Comes with Viagra

In America, Anyone Can Be President. That's One of the Risks You Take

Except If You're an Illegal Immigrant in America.  Which Still Beats Sneaking into Britain in a Dutch Truck on a Ferry from Belgium...

Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them

I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

You're just jealous because the voices only talk to ME.

BEER: It's not just for breakfast anymore.

(From Washington Post)

Washington Post?  Thought You Posted This from Australia?

Bob Dj.  :-)

Feedback: Home:logolittle.jpg (9114 bytes) Search:

Also, check out... Djurdjevic's WASHINGTON TIMES columns:  "Christianity Under Siege," "Silence Over Persecuted Christians", "Chinese Dragon Wagging Macedonian Tail,"  "An Ugly Double Standard in Kosovo Conflict?", "NATO's Bullyboys", "Kosovo: Why Are We Involved?", and "Ginning Up Another Crisis"

Or Djurdjevic's NEW DAWN magazine columns: "Blood for Oil, Drugs for Arms", "Washington's Crisis Factory,"  and "New Iron Curtain Over Europe"